Circa 2003: This is a letter to my dad, which accompanied a big ol' box full of mail which I (obviously) had to collect from the local post office and send him. Written during my residence at my parents' condo in Northridge during the renovation of our house (while they were on their annual 6-month sojourn), it came to pass that daddio didn't even notice this letter for some time, perhaps finding it, camouflaged as it was, blandly scattered within the rest of the bills, adverts, notices and sundry annoying political fliers within that particular package. "Zeindel," by the way, is an affectionate nickname daddio calls me and my bro, from an obscure bastardization of a Yiddish word, apparently meaning something along the lines of "son." -g

Zeindel Service Center
4053 Beethoven Street
Los Angeles, CA 90066

October 24, 2003

Jerry Eichenblatt
Somewhere in America

My Dear Mr. Eichenblatt:

Enclosed you will find a mere portion of the massive quantities of mail you had waiting for you at the local post office. Only that which appeared most pertinent has been enclosed. A giant bin full of postal crap awaits you upon your return to the Greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Region.

I hope you will find the contents acceptable, as it was akin to a hemorrhoidectomy both picking it up and sorting through it in order to package it for delivery.

Please advise as regards your return plans, so that, before your return, a small army of disinfectant-bottle-and-brush wielding Russians can be organized to come and scour the abode which you so generously donated as a temporary sanctuary to our worthy charity.

Your continuing contributions are greatly appreciated.

Yours in zeindlehood,